wish on that shooting star

2009-06-11T13:37:00.002+08:00

Now I can understand how and what's your life like in the past;
how it's like when you reach home at 11 plus;
how tiring it is when you finally put down your bag and still have to talk with me;
half doing your work, half doing your stuffs.

The more I experience what you called 'a busy life',
the more I understand how amazingly patient you were with me,
when you'd bothered to talk to me even when you're damn tired and need to focus on work,
but you would patiently talk with me till the point when you want to sleep.

The more I understand what fatigue you were feeling then,
the more I felt how wonderfully imperfect that you are.

And the more I thought about it,
I know that, then, I was just a damn kid that keeps saying that I love you but never knowing what love was.

Just that it's already a wee bit too late..

Maybe no one else remembers,
and you already should have forgotten,

but on last year's today, this is the first time you officially 'ditched' me.
Not that you are now 'with' me now anyway.

Never mind la.

P.S. He still has a plan, I know of it.

2009-05-24T01:02:00.004+08:00

Dear Father in Heaven,

I want to thank You for today.

This week had been the hardest ever since I first came back to You.

But knowing that You are there for me,

I am afraid of nothing.

I was in service today,

I was practically shouting in the songs I am singing.

I figured that You were the only way and I want to point all my thoughts upon You.

I just kept singing and sang like nobody's singing,

and I felt so much better now.

At least my prayers for her was answered.

I hope that they will walk strong together in Christ and bump each other up in times of need too.

And yeaaa.. Today I was just praying for her over and over again.

Alright God please don't be jealous.

I am gonna kick her away out of my mind soon.

She will never be the top priority.

Soon You are gonna be the only one that matter.

'You lifted me out
You lifted me out
And set me dancing, dancing
Free, now I am free
Your love rescued me
Now it's the anthem I'm singing'

AHAHAHA.

It was such an electrifying experience!

I dont need to keep thinking about her when I can turn to God!

Looking things this way makes things that much easier!

And a funny thing was,

that was this neighbour beside me,

which was a stranger to me at first,

which we became friends in Christ a while later,

when after the main sermons end,

we were gonna end with praise first,

this guy, James, asked,

'You really DO love praise.'

'Yeah, I sure did!' I replied.

Then we sang,

"Who's dancing who's singing
Who's living a life worth living
We are, we are
We're shining the light of salvation
Who's running who's loving
Who's breaking the doors wide open
We are, we are
We're shining the light of salvation"

It was such an uber powerful song that I can't help but keep praising the Lord(at the top of my lungs).

End of the song, he(James) suddenly turned to me, " I feel that you are very encouraging."

Then I asked, "Huh?! But why?"

"The way you sang the songs, it just makes people motivated."

And I was thanking profusely, both to him and the Lord.

Praise the Lord for lifting me out.

2009-05-20T21:25:00.002+08:00

我能给你的从来都不是你想要的

而你所要的我却努力的找了又找

却突然发现爱情其实不是一场游戏

也不是一个能够互相迁就的感情

而是一个能够互相体谅的感觉

当年

身为至高无上的神的祢

祢为了我们

却死在十字架上

我知道

失去和她在一起唯一的机会

说自己没事

才真的是骗人的

可是

路虽然是很难走

但是比起祢当年走的十字路

这真的不算什么

神爱世人

甚至将他的独身子赐给他们

叫一切信他的

不至灭亡

反得永生

我父阿，倘若可行，求你叫这杯离开我。然而，不要照我的意思，只要照你的意思。

我父阿，这杯若不能离开我，必要我喝，就愿你的意旨成全。

我父阿，如果这真的是你的意思的话，那我会把这杯干了，应为你是神，一切都随你。

2009-05-19T13:05:00.002+08:00

There's always something that I always admire..

Beings of blinding light and shining wings,

holding a slim, long sword in the right hand,

a shiny kite shield in the left,

hovering aloft in the sky,

with the sun behind, shining.

They were called guardian angels.

And I wanna be one.

I knew you were poison and I fed myself to it,
and I kept drinking and drinking it,
knowing that it will kill me instead of doing anything good to me.

The withdrawal effects are kicking in,
and my hunger for you has almost become uncontrollable, insatiable.

And all I can do is like a jealous angel,
watching in a distance,
knowing that he can't do anything to help,
knowing that he's no longer needed.

2009-05-14T16:28:00.004+08:00

It took me 3 long months for me to get the answer to that answer that you couldn't explain at that time..

Ever since the Lord found me, the most important reason for me to remain in this faith was the answer to your answer, something that I couldn't understand then.

All this while you could say that i was relearning love, because of you.

The other day when I read 1 Corinthians 13 again, I begun to absorb and accept the reason behind it.

For my interpretation of your answer is this:

True love was never a product of human beings,

it is a by product of God's heavenly love for us,

just as all for love, the heavens cried,

and only love could make a way;

it is patient and kind;

it is never 'me' but it's you;

it doesn't calculate errors but accepts;

it never fails regardless of circumstances.

Love isn't some gooey emotion that I used to know 3 months ago;
it isn't just all about lust and sex but it's about faith and hope;
it isn't just about getting together but it's about the other's happiness;
it isn't just about physical contact and embraces but it's about mental attachment;
it isn't all about looks but it's about the inner beauty;
it isn't all about plain loving but rebukes the person for the better;
it isn't about lies but about the truth;
it isn't about me but it's about you;
it isn't about getting anything in return, for true love is incapable of failing.

The Lord will be my witness, that I had did this in this relationship we shared.
Not in the past, but now in the present, and later in the future.
For you might not see but the Lord sees, and that's enough.

Love wasn't an emotion that we mere mortals could manufacture on our own.

If the Cross of Calvary wasn't in the equation, then it really isn't love.

For I am convinced that human beings are incapable of loving,
and the love in the world is the worldly love,
but the love I found in Christ and was blessed to me is the heavenly love.

For if even I have faith that can move the himalayas and sever the peak of mount everest,
but have not love, i am only a noisy, resounding gong.

For the greatest of the three; hope love and faith,

that is love.

Now that I know the rift between us is bridged,

I really hope that the current me will attract your sight for just one more second than before

2009-05-07T13:34:00.001+08:00

Oh God, what the hell is wrong with me..?

2009-05-06T12:56:00.002+08:00

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 3:6-8;

I planted the seed in your hearts, Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow.

The one who plants and the one who waters work together for the same purpose.

2009-05-03T12:15:00.002+08:00

Today I made a damn weird dream.

Apparently I was dead for some reason but I was revived on the death bed, and

God gave me three hours to do whatever that I want for my instincts to continue living is great.

It was 830 am at that time, so that means i had till 1130am.

Then I was so so so scared that I might go to hell.

Then suddenly eph appeared, he wore a black hoodie and black pants.

The time was 830, but the skies were dyed crimson red..

He told me that he was going to hell because he joked about some malay.

Then I was praying hard for me to go heaven, blah blah blah.

Then the both of us took a train to somewhere far away(i dont recognize the scenary outside),

until a valley of some sort.... AND THEN I WOKE UP.

Ok random.

2009-04-22T09:12:00.003+08:00

The oceans may rise,
and the thunders can roar,
but I will be still,
knowing my God is there with me.

So Lord, guide my emotions to what You may desire me to be,
let me stop thinking about her already..

2009-04-17T09:39:00.003+08:00

A letter for you

It has been a very long time since the last time I dreamt of you

And I don't know how are you doing,

or what you are doing,

and I really wanna know all that.

This time I found you praying for me inside my dreams,

your voice still sounded so sweet like the way I used to love it..

I can't remember what are you praying for but..

I would pray for you to have a happy and fulfilled life..

And may God always be with you.

Agape,

Zhong Sheng

2009-04-08T20:59:00.004+08:00

There is something in this world that no one has seen before,

it is gentle and sweet.

Maybe if it could been seen,

everyone would fight over it.

That's why no one has ever seen it.

The world hid it so that no one could get their hands on it easily.

However; someday, someone will find it.

Omg ToraDora is really one of the best anime series that I ever watched..

2009-04-07T16:58:00.000+08:00

It has been a year, an entire year,

ever since we were in the lake of dusk,

and when while we were at the rooftop,

gazing at the stars,

i bet you didn't realize that what caught my attention most

was the star shining right beside me :

you..

i can't explain this feeling
i think about it everyday
and even though we moved on
it gets so hard to walk away

2009-04-06T12:33:00.006+08:00

1 Corinthians 13:13(Message) -
Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is LOVE.

2009-04-06T10:57:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

I had been so damn busy these few weeks that I TOTALLY FORGOTTEN about the TP dance concert that I am so determined to go. WTF. I was only reminded when I saw her photos about it.

KAO!

Pissed,

Zhong Sheng

2009-04-01T16:23:00.004+08:00

Dear diary,

I learnt about love today again.

In Harry Potter,

Snape(the evil-looking potions teacher) protected Harry Potter even though he looked like an enemy to him, due to a long standing feud between he and James(Harry's father).
But the love he had for Lily Evans(mom to Harry), Snape protected Harry for an 'enemy's son,
losing his life in the process(read the 7th book of Harry Potter).

Lily's protection over the boy granted him the protection of the Killing Curse in the series,
in which no one who had ever survived a casting of it,
Harry being the only one able to survive it,

as such, love is the most powerful thing on earth,

Jesus died on the cross for us while we are still sinners,

as such, my favourite verse in the whole Bible;

'Love is patient, Love is kind.' - 1 Corinthians 13:4

so why am I refusing to believe in the world's greatest power,
that transcends life and death,
angels and demons,
height and depths, blah blah..

Teach me what to do man. You always leave me lost and helpless whenever I need you the most..

Love,

Zhong Sheng

2009-03-31T12:41:00.009+08:00

Dear Diary,

I wanna tell you that I take this as God's way to tell me not to stop loving people as a whole:

Love cannot be bottled or canned up-in order for the magic to work; for the sparks to fly,

the love must be real and nature and true on both sides.

Love is not only the most powerful form of magic, but the greatest form of power.

Love,
Zhong Sheng

I will take your love as a passing dream,
the time we spent like a life of a fleeting star,
the words you said like an excerpt out of a kid's jokebook,
the pain i felt like the death of those daisies...

2009-03-29T21:20:00.003+08:00

Dear diary,

I was feeling nostalgic today - because on the way to caregroup;

The train passed by bottle tree park - the place we went for ours 'first date'.

To say the truth, I was really bothered by that, I kept thinking of her throughout,

and everybody was talking to each other and was so preoccupied, I felt so lonely,

just like how I felt when I haven't knew You.

Then my dear Ephraim lectured me when I told him how I felt,

but he then gave me a song, Still by Hillsong.

And I went home without joining them for dinner,

because I want some time alone.

I opened up my lappy and I sang out my heart to God,

and I felt alot more better.

But after that,

something prompted me to look for my new song; Still by Hillsong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qk8horRi3_E

And my revelation is this;

Don't get disappointed when God doesn't gives you what you want,

because He always knows when is the best time for you to recieve it.

Because you see,

God always have a reason for allowing things to happen,

and although we may never understand His great wisdom,

we simply have to trust in His will,

because He's our God, and we must stand strong,

because God's with us!

When the oceans rise and the thunders roar,

I will soar with You above the storm,

because Father,

You're the King over the flood,

and I will be still, knowing that You're God.

With Love,

Zhong Sheng

2009-03-29T00:17:00.002+08:00

FOR THE FIRST TIME,

I prayed and praised and shouted to the Lord with all my strength,

my voice and my soul.

Thank You Lord, thank you for sending Your angel(Ephraim) to tell me more about you,

thank You Lord, for giving him the strength to persevere till the end for me,

thank you Lord, for giving me this kind of life that I always wanted;

no pain;

no self pity;

no troubles;

and no 'hers' inside of me.

Thank you Lord, I don't want to do anything other than to follow You and praise You,

for You are awesome!!

We are living to make Your name high, JESUS;

people can say all they want,

but we are FREE!!

2009-03-26T22:56:00.003+08:00

Today something prompted me to call Steven(he's the guy that first tried to bring me to God),

and I finally told him that I recieved the Lord.

Well he was so happy and I can feel that genuine warmth coming from the conversation.

And there I told him, 'With the Lord, I feel that I fear nothing and need nothing.'

Praise the Lord!

You came down through grace, to show a better way.

Thank you Lord Jesus for giving me this new life.

I'm not afraid of anything when I know that You're with me..

And I'm surrounded with love everywhere now,

I know that I don't need her anymore to survive.

I only need YOU, MY LORD THE GOD TO SURVIVE!

I don't care what others might say, be it that this is childlike faith, or what other stuff,

I want to follow YOU!

PolyDINS Camp 09

2009-03-25T20:57:00.004+08:00

HEHEHEHE I AM BACK!

Commando style.

You people's smiles are my hardest shield..

While we are sitting in a circle like this we are bound to attract attention -.-

Thank you Lord for the rainbow and the rain in the uber hot hall!

Rayson!

He funny lar.

Ephraim.

He confirm have a bird face like that LOLOL.

Nice sia. The background having the sunset. It's so imba nice.

Thank you God for the majestic beauty.

Woot that's all of us(that's present in the camp)!

But some of us are watching the other way because there are 3 cameras!

Shuai sia. The middle one. ROFL.

Like commander.

This is during the second day where we all wore the camp tee.

Edison's face look weird here..

WOOHOO! I am back from the camp! So ok this will be my very first post after I deleted everything from the past!

WA anyway that camp wasn't what I expected from a church camp! It's so fun and so enlightening.

It gave me the extra kick of faith I need to believe in the Lord.

At least I know that not all Christians are like her, people at Hope Church are always so nice; we can just leave our PSPs, handphones and valuables lying around and nobody will come and steal, they are really nice people:

so nice that I bet they can't be found anywhere else.

And it must be because of the love the Lord gave us!

I learn so many things, made many friends, and I found out that life is not about all about girls, not about her - because that thinking is really nuts.

I SHALL TALK ABOUT THE CAMP NOW:

OOOO OMG I WANT TO SAY IT AGAIN, that I really had fun there!

Best camp I ever had as I told Jeremiah la.

Especially with my cg, these people are so funny until I can't stand it,

cause they are like to 'bully' each other with love. LOLOL

And I think in this camp we attract a lot of attention cause we kept doing funny things like

everyone's favourite video below and mao zhua lao shu zhua ji zhi. ROFL!

AND THIS CAMP IS GONNA MAKE ME A PIG.

We ate breakfast at 0800 and they made us eat lunch at 1100. WTH?!

Sure fat! - But I like. Hehehehe!

But I love the third day la!

Cause guys dress up till handsome handsome then girls doll up till pretty pretty ah.

Then everybody had a campwhore session!

My eyes kept rolling around for the sweet little things that went in my line of sight!

But the most fun thing was everyone's company and love!

Thank you Lord for all of these!

I shall end of with everybody's favourite video!

LOLOLOLOL